Without a lot of time, think of three things or events you did with your parents. Quick write them down. Then look closely at them and ponder these three questions.
- Was it alone time with a parent or a group event?
- Did the cost of this time involve a little money or a lot of money?
- How often did you get to do that with your parent?
Now the hardest question, are you passing on any of those events as traditions in your family? The strongest deterrent to teenage high risk behavior is a strong emotional connection between your child and yourself. This is even more evident in our global nomads. TCKs need to have traditions to help them feel grounded no matter where they end up in the world.
In 2011, I was honored to be part of the “Gratitude Book Project – Celebrating Moms and Motherhood, editor, Donna Kozik. I wrote a short article about my mother and the power of “ummmm” or allowing silence to be a very important part of a conversation.
Due to the nature of my job, I meet people from all over the world. Many of them are Moms.
When you watch the video below, I am sure that you will find at least three things that Anita Renfroe mentions. These three things will be a very important part of your life therefore you can be part of the “Momma raised me right” group. (Even if you don’t like country or even know Minnie Pearl – you will find three things that all moms want for their kids).
When I came home from school devastated that I didn’t make the team, she listened and said, “Ummm.” We had many “Ummm” conversations through out school. I wanted to go someplace unique for college. When I showed her the college applications, she said, “Ummm.” My scholarship was 4,500 miles away from home. We had many “Ummm” conversations in college.
When I told her that my husband would be taking a job overseas and we planned on raising her grandchildren as global nomads, she said, “Ummm.” When her grandkids talked about machine guns on their school bus to ensure their safety, she said, “Ummm.”
I am a family therapist, and I use “Ummm.” It is one way to convey warmth and yet not be judgemental. My mother gave me more than I ever knew. With every “Ummm,” she was giving me the chance to explore things myself, believe in myself, and grow as a person. My mother was giving me resilience!