J Simens.com

Loyalty: As the empty nest affects the whole family

I never thought an empty house would cause so many things to end up under my feet!

With two kids in college, We are finally officially empty nesters. No one told me that being an expat family who has traveled all over the world that this time of our lives would be so hard.  I am finding three things very hard to deal with:

1) When did I become #1 love for the Dog?  Raja has always been very close to me but he has never been under my feet 100% of the day.  Perhpas this was because I usually work outside the home or it might be because our children would tire out the dog so he’d leave me alone.  Now I trip over green tennis balls – often.  I get slobbery dog bones dropped at my feet. I have a new best 47 pound friend!  But I think Raja still misses his ‘real best friend’.

2) When did the kids decide they might not want to come visit a place they have never lived in? Everyone wants to go back to a place they have lived for Christmas. The kids even thought going back to Australia where they were born ‘might’ be fun!  When I talked to them about coming to our new home (we recently moved when High School was over for our youngest) they were not very interested. They are eager to go to any new location but going to a place we call ‘home’ and they have not lived there has caused them some concerns.

3) When did drinking coffee become so hard. There is no excuse for baking! I used to have to make cinnamon rolls so the kids would have something to eat.  Apple pies to round out their dinners. Brownies for when their friends come over. Perhaps I will start to “feed the engineers” program treats with their coffee. Which brings me up to my final concern.  Dessert and Coffee were always a hit in our household. Coffee was a must in the morning.  If anyone can tell me why Asia makes some of the worst coffee in the world – I would like to know. Throw in that now I only drink De-caf…and life is hard at times. I wonder what I am going to do with all that bake wear I packed into our shipment?

So come Christmas, if you see me lonely, it means I can’t talk the kids into coming “home’.  So come Christmas, if you see me with a broken ankle, it means Raja tripped me up. So come Christmas, if you see me in a coffee-free haze, it means I still have not mastered getting a good de-caf cup of coffee on Borneo.

Loyalty is a great trait.

Families can build up their loyalty towards each other by using one simple word. “WE”.  Please use “we” way more than you use “You”.

Lab colorful

  • Becky Hanson
    November 6, 2012 at 7:44 am

    Maybe you can find a source for less expensive “weasel” or “civet” coffee. We recently ran out of our “weasel” coffee from Vietnam and I’m on the hunt for more. Best coffee I’ve ever had despite its reputation (I am believing that they now have a chemical process instead of the organic weasel process).

    Poor Raja, missing Grant…my kitty is now living with Ruth…I miss my cat!

    And we are in a similar boat about the kids coming to our new “home”…Rose might come to China at the end of spring, but Ruth is spending most of her xmas break in PA with the boyfriend’s family. Makes the empty nest feel even emptier…sigh. Wish we could sit down together and commiserate over a good cup of coffee right now, my friend.

  • November 6, 2012 at 3:50 pm

    I’d be right there with you and the coffee. I am aware that this summer will not be my usual kids in Tahoe summer. Both —already have plans. Christmas plans might fall into place because I am making the plans too good to pass up. Hope we can catch soon.